1) I have severe clinical ADHD. I seriously have the world's shortest attention span but hate all types of medication so....Oh my god!! I need a manicure so freaking bad!!
What were we talking about?........
2) I think I have a beautiful voice and I think I sound awesome when I'm singing in my car at the top of my lungs on my way in to work.
3) I'm tone deaf.
4) I think people who are late to meetings with me are rude and careless.
5) I'm perpetually 5-10 (Who am I kidding? Post baby....20-30) minutes late.
6) Most nights, I go to bed with either baby spit-up or beer stains on my pjs.
7) I'm better at being a mom than I am at doing anything else but am still always terrified I'm doing a crappy job...like the time her pacifier fell in the car, I wiped it, claimed '5 second rule' and put it back in her mouth. Or the time I played 'Real Housewives of Orange County' for her in the car on my iPad to get her to stop crying.
8) I'm the youngest of 6 kids and still sometimes wonder if I was adopted like my sister would tell me when I was little to make me cry. Truth is, we look alike and even worse, act alike...especially after a margarita or two.
9) I'm much, much cooler than my sister...especially after a margarita or two.
10) When I was 15, I was depressed for a whole month when I came to terms that John Lennon and I would never be alive at the same time.
11) I'm much, much cooler than 15 yr. old me...especially after a margarita or two.
12) My husband is my favorite person ever even though he gets on my nerves about 95% of the time.
13) My husband and I work for the same company. In the same office. Our offices are about 100 feet apart. We are in the same meetings on a regular basis.
14) My husband is my favorite person ever even though he gets on my nerves about 97% of the time.
15) I removed my own braces when I was 16 yrs. old with some household pliers.
16) I'm much, much smarter than 16 yr. old me...especially before a margarita or two.
17) I love beer. And wine. And martinis. And margaritas. My husband has introduced me to awesome beers, good wines and makes fantastic martinis and margaritas.
18) It took having my daughter for me to feel 100% at ease with myself. Now, I think I'm awesome.
What were we talking about?........
2) I think I have a beautiful voice and I think I sound awesome when I'm singing in my car at the top of my lungs on my way in to work.
3) I'm tone deaf.
4) I think people who are late to meetings with me are rude and careless.
5) I'm perpetually 5-10 (Who am I kidding? Post baby....20-30) minutes late.
6) Most nights, I go to bed with either baby spit-up or beer stains on my pjs.
7) I'm better at being a mom than I am at doing anything else but am still always terrified I'm doing a crappy job...like the time her pacifier fell in the car, I wiped it, claimed '5 second rule' and put it back in her mouth. Or the time I played 'Real Housewives of Orange County' for her in the car on my iPad to get her to stop crying.
8) I'm the youngest of 6 kids and still sometimes wonder if I was adopted like my sister would tell me when I was little to make me cry. Truth is, we look alike and even worse, act alike...especially after a margarita or two.
9) I'm much, much cooler than my sister...especially after a margarita or two.
10) When I was 15, I was depressed for a whole month when I came to terms that John Lennon and I would never be alive at the same time.
11) I'm much, much cooler than 15 yr. old me...especially after a margarita or two.
12) My husband is my favorite person ever even though he gets on my nerves about 95% of the time.
13) My husband and I work for the same company. In the same office. Our offices are about 100 feet apart. We are in the same meetings on a regular basis.
14) My husband is my favorite person ever even though he gets on my nerves about 97% of the time.
15) I removed my own braces when I was 16 yrs. old with some household pliers.
16) I'm much, much smarter than 16 yr. old me...especially before a margarita or two.
17) I love beer. And wine. And martinis. And margaritas. My husband has introduced me to awesome beers, good wines and makes fantastic martinis and margaritas.
18) It took having my daughter for me to feel 100% at ease with myself. Now, I think I'm awesome.
19) Before I had my daughter I used to tell my husband I was awesome, but I just couldn't be 100% sure it was true.
20) My husband told me, in all seriousness, that he was a genius the first time we met. After that, I was about 99.9% sure I'd never have anything to do with him after that night. He was 21, I was 20...the plan was to get him to buy me beer (Milwaukee's Best, to be precise!), make out with him once and never see him again.
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