Dark Clouds Over Dubai

Looks like the mother ship has landed but in fact it's the super shinny Dubai Metro

So the first few weeks of our move to Dubai were a bit shakey to say the least. 

Just before I left, we suffered a miscarriage our second in two years, we were of course devastated. Not a great way to be starting your new life -  but what can you do? You have to get on with it.

The worst part was being away from Johan when it happened as he'd already left for Dubai a week ahead of me to start his new job. Thank goodness I was staying with friend's as we had rented out our house already. I have to extend a big thanks to Al & Ian for being amazing and taking care of me. 

It was awful being apart, on seeing Johan at Dubai airport I just wanted him to hold me, however not knowing or rather knowing a little about the sensitivities regarding physical contact we felt we couldn't even do that. 

What made it worse is as we set off in a taxi to Raddisson Blu, which was to be our home for the next few days. Johan as usual was making small talk with the taxi driver and totally not knowing or meaning anything I'm sure the taxi driver said...

'This your wife?' Johan of course said yes, 

then the taxi driver said to me, 

"you wife and have no baby?! You young couple you should get baby". 

Honestly...I was C.R.U.S.H.E.D a wave of fury swampped over me,I wanted to bunch him then Johan squeezed my hand and instead of bunching the taxi driver I burst into tears! Isn't it funny how you can think your holding it together, that your OK and then someone catches you off guard and you just loose it. The rest of the taxi journey was spent in an awkward silence, we waited until we got back to our hotel room and just held each other and cried. 

The days that followed were a blur, a queasy cocktail of jetlag, grief, hormones and the panic that we had uprooted our nice, comfy life in London to live in the desert.... in a hotel room!!